Public Speaking: Presence Isn’t Performance: The Art of Holding the Room Without Trying Too Hard
- hello974519
- Apr 11
- 4 min read
There’s a quiet kind of speaker who steals the room—not with noise, not with antics, but with stillness.
They don’t need to gesture wildly, raise their voice, or sprint across the stage. People simply listen. Not out of obligation, but out of respect. They’re the ones who create a silence so potent that even those checking their phones find themselves looking up.
This is the elusive quality many try to fake but few cultivate: presence.
In this post, we’ll explore how you can build real, grounded presence—without performing, pretending, or overthinking. Whether you’re preparing for a major keynote or a weekly Zoom meeting, these techniques will elevate your communication, sharpen your influence, and help you become the kind of speaker people remember.
The Common Mistake in Public Speaking: Confusing Energy with Effort
Let’s debunk a myth.
Presence is not about trying harder.
In fact, trying too hard is one of the biggest presence-killers. We’ve all seen it: the overly animated presenter, the rehearsed smile, the breathless pace. It’s well-meaning, but often lands as desperate rather than dynamic.
When you try to “perform” confidence, your audience senses the strain. What they respond to is something simpler—and far more powerful.
They respond to groundedness.
A Story from the Stage: The Quiet Keynote
Several years ago, I attended a leadership summit where one speaker, a former Royal Navy officer, gave a ten-minute talk on operational integrity. His voice never rose. He barely moved. His slides were minimal. But the room was still.
He began with a full ten seconds of silence. Not awkward silence—deliberate silence. He scanned the room, nodded, then began.
And the result? He had the most talked-about presentation of the day. Not because of his words, but because of how completely he inhabited his space.
Why Presence Is So Rare
Presence is rare because it requires something counterintuitive: discomfort tolerance.
To develop presence, you must:
Slow down when your nerves want to speed up.
Hold eye contact when your instinct is to look away.
Allow stillness when you crave movement.
Trust silence instead of rushing to fill it.
Presence is not about adding more. It’s about removing the clutter between you and your audience.
And that’s what makes it magnetic.
Five Signs You’re Undermining Your Own Presence
Even seasoned speakers fall into habits that dilute their impact. Here’s what to watch for:
Over-Explaining – You fear you haven’t made your point, so you make it again. And again.
Pacing or Swaying – Unconscious movement distracts from your message.
Excessive Smiling – Used as a buffer for discomfort, not warmth.
Rapid Speech – Driven by adrenaline, not audience needs.
Disclaimers – “This might sound silly but…” / “I’m not an expert but…”These telegraph insecurity.
The antidote to all of these? Intention over instinct.
Coaching Insights: What Presence Really Feels Like
Presence isn’t theatrical. It’s physiological.
Clients often ask, “How will I know I have presence?” My answer: You’ll feel heavier, not lighter. Slower, not faster. Larger, but not louder.
Presence feels like:
Your feet are rooted to the ground.
Your breath fills the space behind your words.
Your gestures emerge only when necessary.
Your eyes meet the audience—not dart over them.
Your pace matches the weight of your ideas, not the speed of your nerves.
Practical Drills to Build Presence
These exercises are drawn from performance psychology, somatic coaching, and vocal training—refined for business, leadership, and speaking contexts.
1. “Weight in the Feet” Drill
Before your next talk:
Stand up.
Rock gently forward and back, side to side.
Find centre.
Breathe.
Result: You connect with the floor. Your nervous energy drains down, not out.
2. Speak in Stillness
Set a timer for 60 seconds. Choose a topic (e.g., what you ate for lunch). Deliver a short monologue—but your feet must stay completely still.
Why it works: Stillness heightens vocal control and forces intentional delivery. You’ll notice where you usually fidget without realising.
3. Rehearse with Silence
Take a key point from your talk and practise it with pauses:
One before you begin.
One after each sentence.
One at the end.
You’ll find the point gains gravity when you let it breathe.
4. Presence Triggers
Identify a small physical cue (e.g., touching your thumb and forefinger together, or exhaling through your nose) that reminds you to ground yourself.
Do this before meetings, presentations, or whenever you feel yourself spiralling into performative energy.
Advanced Insight: Presence is Relational, Not Just Internal
Here’s a more advanced concept for experienced speakers:
Presence is not just how you feel—it’s how you make your audience feel.
When you're grounded:
The audience relaxes.
The pace slows.
Trust increases.
Retention improves.
You’re not just “in the room.” You’re creating a room around them, a space where attention sharpens and communication deepens.
The Role of Coaching: Why You Can’t Always See It Alone
Presence is paradoxical: it’s felt by others but developed internally. That’s why it’s so hard to self-assess.
You might think:
“I’m too boring when I slow down.”
“Stillness feels unnatural.”
“I need to do more to keep them engaged.”
A coach sees what you can’t: the tension in your voice, the habits that drain your authority, the missed opportunities for pause. More importantly, a coach helps you experiment safely—with real feedback and real-time adaptation.
Final Thought: Stop Performing. Start Holding Space.
You don’t need to project some “confident speaker” persona. You need to be more of yourself, fully present, fully anchored, fully available.
When you stop performing, and start holding the room with who you already are, everything changes.
So if you’re ready to move beyond technique and into transformation, I’d love to help.
Book a coaching session today and learn how to:
Command attention without over-efforting.
Replace nerves with clarity.
Replace showmanship with presence.
Because true presence isn’t taught.It’s revealed. And it’s already in you.
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